China Promises Fake Lunar Landing by 2010
By Brian White · Humor · No Comments
China’s space program has enjoyed successes at a price previously unmatched by any space program. Not the US nor former Soviet Union, not even Canadians have been able to make strides in pace with the Chinese,, and not even because a typical Asian stride is so much shorter based on height alone.
Chinese lunar weinermobiles will be easily capable of traversing the moon’s treacherous craters, or at least a treacherous green, foam rubber imitation lunar surface.
The Great Wall of China, whose construction began during the Zhou Dynasty of approximately 770BC, has finally been bested. Descendants of the ancient invading Mongols have discovered a Home Depot in Ulan Bator, and purchased thousands of scaling ladders to allow them passage over the Great Wall. They appear to have been successful in their endeavor, and are now threatening Beijing.
Toyota Motor Corp. set themselves apart from American automakers in the 80′s and 90′s by designing quality vehicles absent of planned functional obsolescences. This decade Toyota made their mark by introducing the Prius, the first hybrid car to hit the market. Critics have praised it while still dubbing it a “gutless crackerbox”, but now crackers have a sporty carriage of testosterone to choose while pretending to remain eco-friendly. Call it the hybrid Volta or the inbred Priapus, either way it still smells like raw pheromones.